but i'll just fade away

Shafi'i Rahmat
09/12/1988

i beginning to wonder how low can one's life get.
and here i thought i'd already hit rock bottom. fml.

no one, but yourself, can fix you.

LMFAO!


COME ON SING ALONG!
and 1 more thing moustache is the FUCKING HYPE BITCHES.

talk until tired also cannot sleep.
time to hypotised myself.
let's see if it works,
but my mouse is stuck now. how?
BODOHHHH.
Wahlao nw continue on phone. Sialah HAFIZAH. Kau susahkan hidop aku. Malas sia nk reformat. Nw hw to go youtube. Times like this i wish i gt my new phone. Fml.fml.fml.fml.fml.fml....X33
Loser.

waddup hommies.
20 hours of sleep. lol
damn dope man.
yet my sore throat is not getting any better.
but i'm too lazy go poly. the waiting duration suck balls.
last duties my dick shrink and went inward till it looked like a pussy.
wanna know why? cos surprise2 there was a urine test.
can you imagine how dipshit i was in.
imagine if i went to db, confirm you'll miss me right.
but i guess someone might be even happier right.
anw bai and me decided to let go of her.
till ord?hahaha
we'll see about that.
i sold a bunch of newspaper at bpfp for 11 buck.lol
clash of the titans 3d tonite.
but i rather watch the normal one.
or hw to train your dragon in 3d.

urgggggh!i'm sick. fuck yeah
to make it worst i was caught in the rain at jb.
i hope it doesn't get any worst.
reminds me of cda.
i hate drips.it feels weird mang.
anyway, i need a job or at least i need to save fr phuket.
hopefully i'll get my leave done asap.
so i cn book the flight. next stop denpasar.
i need to get this done by this year. i owe it myself.
after all this years of working and supporting myself.
i'm so psyched. let's just hope this doesn't fucked up,like everything does.
okay gtg get smtg fr this throat.
cos all the frappes,ice-cream and kent didn't help.lol

chicken,chicken,chicken.
choke the chicken.
i've been eating just chicken everyday.slurp2!
badan jadi baby sapau.
sapau tu tk sapau sangat lahh bradderr.
wass eating at arnold's last tues,
this bald indian guy thought we were making fun of his shiny2 head and confronted us.
but we weren't teasing him at all, we were just a little rowdy.
the thing is he was with his wife and kid.wth? what if we mats?lol.
the thing abt having your own vehicle is you can go anywhere anytime.
but on the funny thing nowhere to go
so we drove ard like idiots,haji lane, boat quat,clark quay.
till we end up at ktm.wth
tues sucks. cuscaden? yucks you see the same wannabes there.
weds morning gulung.hahaha. bodoh pey hafiz
but that hairil asked fr it. padan muke.
staff sgt, tapi perangai bdk2.
my insomnia nites are back.
it's been 3 mths sia.fml
haiz. look what you've done.

i'm baked. i'm bored. and i'm missing you alot today.
why's that so?

go kart was fucking awesooooomme.
2hrs prac/qualifying.2 hrs race. crazy shit.
i was like alonso sia during practice/qualifying,
but i crashed while overtaking.
i went wide on the turn and crashed into a rock on the circuit.
fuck mang. oh well shit happens. if not we cld have won.
seriously, i wanna rematch.
i wanna go again,but it's $30/10 mins.
a bit tight a the moment.chill first.
i feel so pathetic sia. wtf.
every off club drink smoke up.fml
i see a beer belly forming alr.fml again.
money wasted unnecessarily. nt really.
but .... arghhhhhh cb losssser sia.
i need a distraction. hahaha.
serious prangai murtad.
tapi murtad tu tk braper murtad uh bro.lol

nothin' on you

i love today's weather,
why can't everyday be this cooling.
Alice was alright. maybe i was expecting too much.
and a little late.
or maybe cos i was sober. they could have made it more PSYCHEDIC.lol
Cheshire Cat is so cute.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Should have cut my hair on sat.
sialah nw go everywhere must wear cap.
but feeling2 cut botak also got.hmmm
no. grow hair,GROW.
anyways go karting tmr. WOOTS!
some rubber burning action.=)
so what shall i do when i wake later?

BAD TRIP! fucking shit.
martel+mj nt gd combo fr me.
i swear ytd sucks.
shouldn't have went.
whether free or not if you don't feel like it.
fucking left a new pack of ciggies in the cab. bodohkan.
and i'm seriously disgusted with the girls there ytd.
yucccckssssss. i want to puke eeeeeee. disgust2.
uweaaaaaarggggghhhh.
cheap girls. no offence bro. my standards are higher.
i should finish this stash.
alice in 3d later.
should get baked first. =)

The space you left in me .

Dogs are smelly.
no offence dog lovers.
ok i so wanna kitten. so cuuuuute.-_-
but i wish i had a cat.
especially a kitten. but sadly i can't.
mom's gonna kill me plus i don't have the time for one.
i'm never home fr goodness sake. ok liar, seldom.
so spca is really damn small.
$50 for a cat? i'll rather adopt a stray.
and i saw rabbits having sex.HAHAHA
seriously damn fast.
saturday. not a big deal. but alot of events are held on a saturday.
so i shall not sleep. gg out soon.
STAY AWKE.STAY AWAKE.STAY AWAKE.
gonna get buttered. it's free anw.
my life's becoming more pathetic.
i shall cut down on partying
400 buck gone in the last week. WADDA FUCK!
Savings my ass.lol
i think i need a break with mary.
before i get in dipshit.
bro ,you not young anymore.hahaah
i wanna splurge todayy.
i saw a lot of nice things when i was broke.cb.

LOL!

bought toto. but after that go prayers.how?
sua salah.
so friday nite at home.
o.c marathon.
that's the closest i can get to live orange county
anw now singapore pools eat my money.
bad investment.

$60 for paintball trip to jb.
why do i have expensive hobbies?
should have collected stamps.

i haven't been myself lately.
haven't been hanging out with anyone except with friends from 44.
haven't been replying to most.
sorry to whoever.i know i'm a fucker.oh well.
i can't wait to get a new phone.iphone is an eyesore.
blackberry's overated. htc or nokia?
any suggestions?

it's fucking hot these days.
i swear i nearly melt just now.
anw paintball is WICKED.
didn't know they had it at bottletree.
quite nice place there lotsa fun stuff.
tempted to get my own facemask.
maybe after the paintball trip on the 13th.
long time since i went abroad.

i swear it's fun if you spent your money well.
i still havent get my money back from jason.
fuck you broke niggaz.

time for l4d2. anyone else wanna join?

been there, done that, messed around.

paramore,placebo or both.
as the date draws nearer. i'm psyched.
my first concert, lol. a jk, i know.
nt everyone that fortunate right.
bt still considering of selling and go for placebo instead.
i heard of ppl selling at $200,placebo tix $88.200-88
do the math.hustling bitches

and so i meet harshan,afiq,alex,aishah,gavin fr a while.
eventhough i didn't really wanna see aishah.
well if i can tolerate paychin.
fucklah girls and gossiping.they'll die if they don't.
turns out to be quite fun. even though we did ntg but chill.
maybe i've been staying hm to much.haha

and according to veronica i paitao her.
which is weird cos i didnt hv any plans with her.
did i gave any wrong signals?
i was just being a friend.
i mean i just realised tt i spent vday chilling with her fr a while.
bt tt doesnt mean anything.
so before smtg happens i hv to draw a line.

and i wanna a gascan. 300 fucking bucks.
WOW.
maybe i shld check electric first.
shopping mood's here.
time to make a list.hahaha.
time to buy lottery.

and so i think doing soemthing over and over again just kills the fun.
maybe i just find zirca and rebel sucks.maybe wrong nite.
wah time really zooms pass.
cldn't believe that it's been more than a yr.
maybe we were busy with our own things.lol
I WANNA JAM BITCHES

My new RC SUCKSSSS.haha
nvr i met someone so yaya.
yaya papaya, papaya banana.
well lucky for me all the sc are on the same side.
regulars being treated as recruit?
welcome back to CDA.
we'll be singing kiri, kiri, kiri KANNAN, kiri. kiri KANNANx3 kiri.lol
i just hope he mellows down sooner, let him adapt.
"you don't need to show whose the boss, we alr know."
"rank is ntg without experience and respect."
"think abt your men, and your men will think about you."
so don't step follow the book. lu budak biler.HAHA
lucky for me i always at firepost.muahahaha.

love.
ok this is random.
recently i heard alot of stories like,

someone's girl gg to the guy's close friend. sial uh no one or 2 sia.
all fireman like this uh?

girls who expect too much,

fireman semua sakit kuat. get random chicks pass ard.
why can't i be like them. short-time. player.
well nt my style i guess. i just fell like a bloody idiot to talk this girls.

anw i have a feeling you red my last entry.
i didn't expect you here.why wld u do so.i wonder. do you?
anwayyyy if you happen to read this also.
i wish to clarify a few things.
i just need to let it out somewhere.ntg more
deep inside i know i want but i can't bring myself to.
yeah i'm just tired of relationships.
girls.HAHAHA.

yeah i know imma loser.watever but maybe there's still hope out there.
those who would sent food to firepost.LOL
not that i expect someone to do that.hahaha
oh well. today is payday cheers!

it's been 2 mths. very eventful 2 mths.lotsa changes good,bad.
i finally pass tp. but i don't plan to get a bikee any sooner.
i can't afford one yet.
got promoted to lcp. yay.-_-
$20 increment
met alot of new people. loss more
gonna move pretty soon.
sucks. i guess pretty much that i'll nvr be attached to anything.
everything just comes and goes.
i've been really unsettled this days.
first i couldn't sleep for nites. 2-3 hrs a day.
now i sleep more than 8.
eventhough i've been having great time with my friends.
smtg's just missing. it's nt that i don't know what it is.
haiz. i really miss her.
i just wished i don't. i just wished i forget her,
i don't want to but what choice do i have.
why is it so hard this time.
everytime i'm out i hope that i bump into you, to catch a glimpse of you.
everynow and then i wonder how you're doing. i know you don't want me to. but i can't help it.
smtimes i myself wonder why.
smtimes i feel that i need help.am i suffering frm depression?
i just hope not. why do i deserved such things.='(

i can't wait to say goodbye to 2009.
i feel like shit.
shit.shit.shit.shit.shit.
tmr's my bday.(yay!?)
tmr i'm on leave yet i still have to be in work for rept.
i wonder if i cld get the $200.
parade on the 11th.
sucks.sucks.sucks.sucks.sucks.
the best news is my gf gg to zoukout and im not gg.
fuck this shit.

i appreciate this article alot.
if only everyone was like her.
reminds me of a case of CRC (rubbish chute) fire.
when this chinese man. kinda scolded me.
he said ," api dalam sana."
i was like DUH. wasn't i spraying water at it.
i'm just a firemen. i follow order from my sect com whose obviously more experience.
sometimes the public is just fucked up.
we have protocols. if putting out every type of fire is easy.
we don't need civil defence won't we.
well all i know is that i love my job.
but smtimes the people ard are just fucked up.
they just make life difficult. but i just don't give a FUCK. =)

silver again. luckily there's no monetary award.
if i'd known better i would have aim for a pass.
hopefully i get gold next time round.
the 200 bucks is mine.
work sucks. u know why?
audit! they say it's gonna be this month.
cepatlah sikit.
irritating sia. clean this ,fix that,paint hose.
2 scenario drills per duty.(high-rise suck balls)
sucks to be division station. 6 mths to lance coporal.
compared to 3 mths for some.
hopefully i get it.no that its a big deal.
so at least my enciks say "lance corporal already still like this",
and tekan us. i wanna take a break from work.
FABIANNN cm backlah course3.

i have a faulty mouth.
The words always comes out wrong.
Or maybe im just to slow from taking all thosd herbs.
Ippt tmr and im insomniac.
Im fucked.

there were better days.
those endless conversations.
crazy moments.
oh hw i miss em.

i'm a bad bad person.
someone stop me.

HEELLLO.
okay its been so long.
nt busy but lazy.
so far the past few weeks been great for me.
Few highlight are cosmic gate @ zouk.that was definitely great.
music was great people was great.
and now i addicted to trance.which is bad cos clubbing is nt cheap yaw.
i went to 2 fire.hahah
1 in bp which was actually put out by the lf crew upon arrival.
damn bp confusing carpark. so i just did cooling. dapat pegang nozzle.hahaha
2nd was on my last duty at cck. the fire was quite happening. bigger than the bp.
u really need to be fast man. and be sure to check ur equipments. i was wet thanks to the stupid breeching.
an old sofa at the corridor caught fire. the area damage was abt my living room size.
i pity the resident there. their door and gate turned black.
look like they gonna have to do smtg abt that before hari raya.hahaha
baybeats is this weekend yaw.
i miss gg to gigs. i hope this years one will be quite fun.eventhough i unfamilliar with the lineup.
230809 is goin down in my calendar as a very special day to me. maybe the highlight of the yr for me.wanna why? secret. cannot tell. hahahahaha
haiya bloody rehearsal at 2 today sucha downer.
i wanna go out with baby today!!!!!!! i miss eUU!! HAHAHA
and i hope i can fast for the whole mth. no reason nt to.
valid or not valid behind story.hahaha
okay and this mths most avid reader goes to illiyana. i bet your the only one who reads this.hahah.
which is good cos blogging is gay x.x

hello hello yellow. hahahahaah.
don't u guys miss me? cus it's been so long since i updated and yeah,
i realized that IT HAS BEEEN SOOOO LONG since, and therefore i should start updating.
i will make it a habit to update, even if i have nothing to highlight about, cus it will make illiyana happy. cus she's actually irritated to see "21st july was a curse...." everyday. and illiyana, i know it sucks to be you cus you can win "shafii's most avid reader!" award YET i don't update. i realize it's my fault. hahahahah.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH. im just bored baby.
and shafii, you better eat every single word i typed.

xoxo,
illiyana.

21st july was a curse.
i went to work and the provost seized my cigarettes.
21 and a half sick.hahaha.(yes half stick no money uh.)
and it was a singapore pack.
so most probably that fucking private smoked it or sold it idk,
cos he didnt took my name or did i see him dispose it.
i didnt bother arguing , i didnt wanna get charged.
i carried on the morning like normal.planned to freeload from ppl.
but those gerek kakis went to firepost and the others had no or few ciggies left.
then i lost my bloody keys to locker while doing c.a drill.
i had to pry my locker and took the spare keys.
well if that wasnt enough.
i had a deep splinter on my stupid thumb thanks to the carrom board.
i had to ride a bike to teck whye to buy food with the bloody thing still in my thumb
cos they missed out staff wadi's dinner.
it took about and hour plus to remove it.
because it was under my nails and the medics didnt knw where the tweezers was.
well.................fuck my life

oh yah i dont understand why must you lie.
am i to shameful to be with?

im so bored.
im starting to fee bored on my off days.
eventhough i feel its not enough.
hayayayaya.

hello mellow
and so now i'm a firefighter.HAHAHA.wth
i work 24hrs,24 hrs off 24 hrs standby, which is also equivalent t0 48 hrs off.
sounds great huh?
idk.hahaha so bukit batok fire station.
so far so fun.
the people there fun, except maybe a few who have their own politics.hahaha
some of them are uber cool to me cos they ride dirt bikes.wow
every duty i report ard 746.
appliance handover,then do scenario drills, then chemical agent drills.eat.then routine till ard 2.
then waste time till 8 for night lecture. dinner.routine sleep.
wakeup at 445.routine.equip drill,then btm drill.
its my 4th duty still no turnout.
which was wat i wanted at the beginning.
nw i take back my word. its boring!
they say bbfs has a lot of turnouts.-.-
oh yah no ragging yet.maybe im lucky

i'm having this urge to shop and club and shop and club and SPLURGE
hahahah.
must pass my tp this time.pls god.
i nd additional cash.
woah gaining control of my life.for nw i think.hahahahaha
saw this girl while buying breakfast at cwp ljs.
i shld be like mats and ask for no.hahaha
but too bad i think its stupid to be that random.
so girls watcha think?agreed?
i know she's from rp. like duh.
yasser was embarassing.
we were right behind that girl and he said things like tetek die berbulu.HAHA.cb
and that girl was malay.wth.
sialah babi nye mama.
ok lah gua nk gi berak,mandi lepastu gi lepak.bye.

it's been a week since we talk.
i really miss you illiyana.
i still think about you everyday.
sometime i still think that there's still hope beneath all this.
and so i constantly remind myself that your heart is still with wandi.
and that no matter what he does you'll still love him.
i'm still an avid reader of your blog.
when i'm hm,i visit it, refresh it every now and then.
hoping that you'll update it every single day.
it's the only way i can know how your doing eversince that day.
i dunno why i feel bad reading your last entry.
i couldn't help but still care even though there's ntg i can ever do.
the reason why i changed my blog address,
is because i prefer that i kept stuff like this to myself.
i know it's stupid cos this entry is for you
but you are clueless that this blog still exist.
somehow i'm hoping you get to read this by any chance.
yea i admit im wierd,i'm indecisive.
i wish i cld tell you that
if one day and your missing me.
or if your heart decides to be with me.
you'll know that i'm here.

and so 3 mths of grueling hard work has paid off.
i've earned that firebadge which qualifies me as a firefighter.
3 mths of hell for sure but yeah there were also alot of memories.
sweet memories.
mental and physical exhaustion.
not only in camp but from my social life too.
so basically every recruit on that night was feeling so damn high.
except for one,
and so i prioritized you over my family.it was just one fucking night.
you cld hv been a friend for that 1 night.isnt that what you wanted
i somewhat knew u were avoiding me,yea i knew i wasnt moving on.
i knew u wanted to make it clear this time but it cldnt hv cm at a better time.
those words didnt caught me by surprised.
yet i blanked.yeah jammed bro.
and so i invited my family,namely my sis mom bro in law and granny.
but my mom came with nurul and rashid instead.
and so everyone was grinning ear to ear with joy.
having great time with their loved ones and friends.
i looked upon them with much disdain
i felt so much hatred towards myself.i felt like a loser.
but i put on a fake smile and enjoyed the nite with the rest.
well at least i made my mom proud i think.
well that nite marks the end of 37th ffc and everything else.
i didnt meant what i said on the phone that night.
you shld know me better. don't worry there wont be hatred just pain.
if it's really over why am i still hoping.

hey ho!
the countdown to pop is still on.
3 weeks yaw.
the more i think abt it the longer it seems.
well 3 weeks of stupid routine food.
fish chicken fish chicken fish chicken or shit like minced meat.
i cant imagine signing on and enduring another 6 mth of that shit.
SO FORGET ABT SIGNING ON.
NS is CRAPNESS.

the nites has been quiet.
and so i plug in.
what will you do without music.
you don't know what's beneath this blank face
oh why can't we be like how we were yesterday.
<\3

so dear diary,
i've been a having an intresting week.
found i pass my bapt,but thers's more test cmg up.
so gdluck.
i was caught puffing,
hope to get away with a stern warning.
i hope to learn my lesson.i hope this wont affect pop.
i dont want to just march.it's tiring and boring.
my encek say i might be involve in the flange fire.
im still happy with that even thogh i really wanted to rappel down the cpl.
i've really disappoint myself again,
why do i always do things to screw myself up.dumb ass.


and so we're back to square one again.
is it gonna end here?

HOT HOT HEAT.
it must be summer nw.
training in the next few weeks will be hell.
ok i swear i've been irritatingly irritating.
sorry ppl.hahaha
and i hope i dont have to repeat bapt.
i managed to get grade a for all the stations.
except that maybe i was penalised a lil bit.
i know i can make it.
in fact i did better than expected.
better than those who are better than me.
so whose better know.
if i repeat i shall keep my eye on the stupid speedometer of the bicycle.

5 wks to pop!

infectious.

it's been hell for me.
i'm been down with flu and fever.
i swear i wanna chop my nose.
with temp reaching up to 39.3 at nite.wth.
i even had drips to cool my body down.
i m hving a hard time with training cos of this.
but i dont wanna miss any training.
5 wks left anw.

my niece is super cute bubbly and adorable.
if only i cant bring her with me to camp.ahaha

everything seems fine.
but we've been lingering for mths nw.
if its for real will it happen sooner or just linger on?

hey yaw! it's been 2 mths and 2 wks of ns.
another 7 weeks as rec/trainee.
cant wait to have my life back.
i miss skating.i miss bass-ing,i miss gg to gigs.
have heart's on today. boo hoo
i like their music even though its associated with hardcore.
i spend this weekend mostly with ppl from camp.hahaha
cb everyday see them. yah but was fun to catchup with my old plt mates.
but i noticed uh cd guys are either junkies,horny bastards.
sex,drug and rock&roll.ahahaha
i'm not gonna be influence.
i threw all that away a long time ago.kinda.
so yeah.
i'm a good boy.
i'm gotta go nw. shall update more next time.=P

Where do i start.hahaha
ok i know.
8 more weeks to POP!
hahaha.woots.
2 long mths to go.
anw finally found someone who shares more or lest the same interest with me in camp.
we shall go bali and surf/wakeboard one fine day.
next week is pay dayy
actualy tmr but wth.
$390 only i think
boo hoo. not enough. i wish i could mate my money to have more.
anw to my dearest deer.
HAPPY NINETEENTH BIRTHDAY.you bird-bird.
hope your wish comes true.
and best of luck in everything sch/work.
maybe you'll get promoted soon.
then can blanja me go holiday.XOXO.ahahah
sorry couldnt make a big party.maybe next year.
bigger then zouk out.k
cb we nvr finish the cake.what a waste.
nvm the lizards can party.hahah
anw i'm glad that you've been having wonderful weekends.
anw i shall finish packing my stuff.
and leave slightly earlier buy food.
time flies when you're having fun.
so long negroooooooossssssssss!

what a great weekend.
met jason & his usual peps at tangs.
window shop. cant wait for pay day.
bump in to harshan aishah on the way to ps.
some pen/keychain seller thought jason how to keng!hahaha.
no wonder he's fat.chao keng.
hahaha.funny uh seeing hw different guys deal with ns.
i hope i cld be strong enough nt to join em.
sat was the best day!
went to the beach!
talk abt being spontaneous.
SENTOSA.
damn there were alot of hot chicks.opps!
i mean i was there with one.
and guess what aishah and family were there too.lol
tumpang them out to vivo and watch wolverine.
i guess its the movie season.
i still hv a few more on my list.
but the best thing is i get to spend time with little miss dizzy.hahaha
ok nw u can stop the time.ty!

a long weekend.
been looking forward to it.
ffc really sucks in a way.
im so shagged.5am to 9pm
earning 420 only.arghhhhhhhhhhh
hahaha
been counting down the days and it really seems to be damn long.
i hv to endure and make sure i pass out passing all the test.
earn the additional $300.
so many things to learn in 3 mths.
breathing apparatus test,aed/cpr test,ippt.
i dont think i can even get silver for ippt.
but i still aim gold.$200 sia.
money face.
mon will be the start of the 4th wk
so another 8 weeks left.
i miss my carefree bummer life.hahhhahaa
NOW IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GO OUT!BBBBBBBBYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

2.5mths.
10 weeks.
70 days.
still a long wayyyy.haha

SLLEEEEEEEEPLLLLAH!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm so fucking tired.
wth is wrong with me.

i'll give you the stars.
i'll swim the ocean for you.
i'll sell my soul.
i'll do whatever it takes.
to make this last forever.
come what may.
this undying love will always remain.

aiayayaya.
there's a hole in my pocket.
bills,necessities.
didnt really enjoy my pay yet.
anyone wanna go out?
i wanna splurge.
i wish i cld buy that ipod NOW.
i dont think i cant last the month if i grab it.
especially with the way i've been spending it.
i have to save up.
next mth my pay will be like pfffft.
god permits for the next 3 mths only lah.
and that g shock..HAAAAAAAAAAIAH.
ANW ANYONE WANNA GO OUT?

what went wrong.
i guess you can fight fate?
or can you?
it's stupid to fight in a losing war.
i'm stupid.
i will stand my ground.
cos i still have faith.
i'm just hoping things get better.
oh how i miss those days where we are not fighting.
why won't happiness just last.
it's tiring.i know.
i'm irritating .i know.
i'm a nuisance.trouble.
apologies just won't work anymore.
mistakes can't be undone.
feelings fade.
you don't want this neither do i.
i can't do this without you.
i'm losing my sanity.
and there's ntg i can do abt this.
i can't handle the truth.
but what is the truth?

HELLLO PEOPLE!
woah feels great to be home on a weekday.
so many luxuries here.hahaha
anw life in ns seems to better day by day.
so many eventful stuff.ties get closer.
8 to 5 this week for those who pass ippt.
yes i pass. come on shafi'i. i'm gonna get gold for the next one.
$200 - gold $100 - silver.easy money.
help out with the new enlistments.distribute uniform and stuff.
welcome fit squad and ayam sakits.
became a temp storeman. got freebies. socks and boots.
now i can throw away my boots that has scratches on it,
thanks to the stupid car from cd skills competition.
and azahri is in the "fit squad".haha.small world.
warrp tumpang me home. talk about reckless driving.
crazy cibai kia. anw now i really cant wait too book my next tp.
confirm pass one. so if nvr get into ffc also oklah.cos im really impatient.haha
so yah life as a recruit is quite fun.
ok now just waiting for the apple of my eye to call me.haiya.lambat eh.
that's all.

SHIT! 1730 alr.
must be in camp by 2000hrs.
another week of misery.
i had a great weekend.
sometimes i just wish that i could stay high all the time.
but sometimes the down cant be avoided.
fingers crossed for tonight.
be strong girl.
sometimes you just have to do things that you don't wanna do.
you just have to be selfish at times.
you have to think how it will affect you in the long run.
that's what i did before. listen to your heart.
ok i'm late alr. bye.

Hello my fans!
i know you all missed me. haha
turns out there's no confinement.WOOTS
so yah being a recruit in scdf quite fun meet new people from all walks of life.
funny how it's made up mostly with malays with tattoos. not saying that i have any.
but you'd be surprised even the most decent looking guy has a tiger on his calf,or a back-piece.
charlie gangster. what to do.
nvm we will the one saving lifes.doing most of the real action, compared to the military.
yeah overall i had a pleasant time,so far.
except that you cant smoke there which is pathetic.
Descipline is one thing, but our rights?hahaha
anw i'm trying to make the best of my time there.
just follow and give them what they want and hopefully i get to be a firefighter.
godspeed.
5 days gone. left with another 725.LOLOLOLOL!
so yah gonna missing out on lots of things and miss sweetheart alots.
meet her on weekend only.sadded sia.
so yah if anything urgent call me from 8-10.
i'll leave my phone on ard that time.




ytd had a romantic tme with ill by the flyers.
had ben & jerry's.i prefer the one from their outlet got he waffle cone.
yah and i blew the mood.
i guess i must be more patient,
god's testing me ? idk.
anw i'm sorry.
sometimes i feel like asking you what to do.
i just wanna ya to be happy. that's all.
well not really uh. i wanna be happy at the same time too.haha
if things are getting to hard for you. tell me.
i'll do my besst to help. watever means.
anw yah had a great time aft that.
i was really tempted to hug you damn hard.
and squuze the life out of you.hahaha
thanks for the great weekend.
feels good to be out esp with you.<3
till next wk then.bye

hello! i'm gonna be gone for 2 weeks.
thanks to my family esp my mum who got everything for me.
Love you mum.that's a first.haha
anw to cut it short thanks harshan aishah afiq ill for the well wishes.
hope everything will the same in 2 weeks time.
yah gonna miss you guys.hahaha
take care of mochi.
yah and to my no 1 babygirl.
take care of yourself.
and remember your admission.
YOUR PORTFOLIO!hahaha
don't do drugs,alcohol and other stuffs god forbids.
and don't flirt okay?kidding.hahaha
anyway..
I LOVE YOU!
Crosses and circles.



hopefully i didnt miss out on anything.
anw there you go short and simple
Oh yah forget gonna miss this girl too
.

don't grow up too fast okay.

one must learn to trust.
no matter hw complicated or difficult in can be.
TRUST. Even when circumstances is not helping.

ok i must be mad to share this
must be from the bible or smtg.
but somehow i agree with it.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

no offence. i'm still a muslim.
nt a gd one. and my god is allah.
just to be clear.
peace upon you.





GI MASOK NSLAH.
so am i wrong to feel insecured?
damn it sucks to be me.
someone help me.
am i mad at ntg?
am i right to say it's nt just as friends.
god? haven't i been patient enough.

YO! so accompanied afiq to commonwealth.
he got his FE. Some minor problems with the winder.
i think he fixed it anw. was quite early, had ntg planned for the rest of the day.
so i ask afiq if he wanted to go to tanglin halt chap lau.
was fun things change slightly.
reminisce the old time.
the good times, the bad which i dont wanna think abt.
it's a nice small neighbourhood. wouldn't mind moving back.
it's convenient there. near town.
might wanna go back there to snap a few pics.
for memory sake. before it's all gone,
like the food court where bro-in-law meet my sis.HAHA
the mee wanton love story.
anw i have a book to read in week. actually 2 bks.hahaha.
nites!

hello! new skin siolxz. hahaha
tt's why ill never switch to lj.
anw back to where i left,
had a great week
saw a fucking nice rainbow.
i guess i'm not chasing rainbows anymore, instead it chased aft me.
scary sia. from marsiling to batok.
i think it lost me at je. haha
celebrated aisha bday on sat.
baked her a cake with afiq.
SEDAP! bijir kasi LIMA-O!
but then it went to waste. sadded sia.
talking abt it makes me wish i brought it hm.
ill si giler gave her a leopard/cheetah printed lingerie.
i bet harshan love it more than aishah.
i gave her an umbrella wish is perfect considering the rainy week.
and afiq bought her a tamagotchi.
going through major lifechanging process.haha
fun,funny.painful
trying to kick those bad habits.
hopefullylah, fingers crossed.
so dunno if i'll be updating soon. kinda lazy.
but will update at least once before i go on hiatus.
goodbye for now.

WAZZZUPPP!!!!!
everything's been great recently.
it's like having retirement.
all play and no work.hahaha
guitar hero, foosball, ganyut,GST!!
been taking a lot of pics.
i shall update my deviant.
met old friends, hw i miss those fun times.
10 days left, i'm gonna be bald.
i'm looking forward to that actually.
but i hope the confinement wont be that long.
i'm gonna miss both my babies.hahaha
that sucks. now i dont feel like gg to camp.=/
omg!! its 1015 i'm n t dressed.
and im gonna be suppa late.
i'll get back to this later.

Oh shoots!,
who could have thought being friends was hard.
maybe i'll sleep early today.
it's close to 5 anyways.haha
maybe an episode of o.c will do the trick.
i'm so fucking psyched for blinkONE-EIGHT-TWO.
something to look forward to.
i just hope it happens.
and now previously on o.c...

It was announced on 5 February 2009, that Blink-182 will reunite as presenters on the 51st Grammy Awards show, which will mark the first time the trio has met on stage since December 2004. !!!

The 51st Annual Grammy Awards will take place on February 8, 2009 (Sunday) . It will be broadcast on CBS in the United States at 8PM EST. *!!!PLEASE WATCH !!!*

i'm drained.
fall aslp brain.
it's unbearable
nside i'm screaming i love you.

my adorable niece.
makes you feel like squeezing,chokeslam,
hahaha

so what should i do now?
someone help me reformat my brain.
i'm sorry.

now i know what's gg on.
it's opera i think it doesn't support blogger or it's still in beta.idk
and now i get what's gg on.
funny cos saw it coming anyway.
i sensed something was wrong, and guess what?i was right on.
i could have just walk away like what the old me would usually do.
but i was hoping, which was all i could do,that a miracle could happen.
to undo the mistakes i did in the past.
i'm not mad at you cos you love him. what kind of man do you take me for?haha
no one is to blame for what happened.
me,you,him. but maybe god uh.hahahaha
for a hardcore pessimist. i can say that i'm optimistic.
well it's sad to see such a beautiful thing in my life gone.
a beautiful girl somemore.hahaha
maybe it's karma. things happen for a reason right.hah
well thanks for telling me at least maybe i can get a closure.idk
yah i had enough of it lingering. cos it was really affecting me.
and not that it's better now. but fuck me.
i just hope you'll be comfortable with your life.
and there's only 1 reason that we cld never be cos you love him.
the others are just a whole load of crap to me.
i don't think you would listen to me anymore.
but take care of yourself.
i won't be there to tell(nag) you to eat your meds.
i won't be there to tell you to do the right thing.
i hope you know what i mean.not just the fags or booze.
i mean i won't be there in personlah.
but i'll be there hoping that somehow something will remind you of it.
don't go doing stupid stuff to run away from life.
i know your a strong person unlike me.
i'm just a loser who always try to run away from the fact that my life sucks.
you always say suck to be you.
but hell don't you know what i've been through.
i guess i'm just that guy who keeps stuff to himself.
and it's better that way.
idk what to do now. so sorry.
feelings aside, i hope we can be the bestest of friends.
cos i really treasure everything we had and will have.
i will stop drinking before i go ns. if i don't i hope i just die. ok
i try to keep things bottled up okay. =)
i love you.
sorry!=(

i really miss you.

been ages since we talk.

whatever it is, i'm still here for you.

god pls stop making her sick.

get well soon.<3

anw i'm tired.

maybe i'll slp better tonight.

sleepless night begone please.

cos music ain't helping no more.

(don't ask me abt the space between every sentence.blogger's fcukedup?idk)

woo hooo!
i was fired ytd,ok stupid uh could hv resign.
but really i don't care,cos it sucks.
the manager sucks.
i wish he get killed by those prostitutes from china.
or std, watever.
haha and Jeffrey, we didn't even bother to cover ourselves.
so thanks anw. 1 more week to pay day.
aiyah the most wld be $600?
better than ntg uh.
diana for $50?
i want a lomo, but the lc-a,sumting2.
expensive but in the long run,cheaper.
i think shld grab an slr firstlah.
so any cheap deals ard $100 tell me aite.
here the pics we took ytd





.

okay i really having stm.
i keep forgetting stuffs.
i made 3 plans today.
i have to go with the first plans i made.
i rather go take pics with afiq
or meet illiyana iguana.haha cb.
or do both.
anw i'm so sorry.
i really dont feel like skating sia.urghhh
haiya and tmr work.
the gd thing is, it's the last 4 days.
ok lah, i have to bathe now.

am i a ghost?

@#$%*?!!!

something's fishy going on.
can you fill me in?
the truth will always be out there.
am i just pessimistic?
skeptic?
hhhmmmmmm...


WORK SUCKS!
ntg new i know
shld i work till end of mth or mid feb?
it's taking up to much time.
haven't met up lsc.
long time yo.
havent been meeting heartface.lol
miss you lah babe.
anw tmr i try put 100% effort in work.
but i get bookings when i don't.hahaha
$7 /hr next week?
hope so
spiff,spiff.
more money come on.

a great night so far.
bought prawn takoyaki.
i swear they use 1 prawn for three balls.
but it was nice though.duh
well i saw 2 shooting stars.
TWO!
not a bad idea to chill up the hill.eh
doesn't stop there
gt hm and had pizza! nice!
aiyo tmr work.bye

everyone's moving ahead of me.
i still stuck with my o's.
boo hoo.-_-
if i get my diploma aft ns.
i'll be 25 when i graduate.
that's old lah.
aiyo die liaoxzxz
i suck.

tmr gonna be a sucky sat.
working whole day
wasted 10 bucks on mc.
cos i overslept.
i'm left with 4 bucks and no ciggies
not eating lunch for mc. pfft
see how pathetic my life can be.

im gonna turn in early tonite.
cos im shagged.
so goodnight yaw.
ZZZZzzzZ!

work sucks.
wth it's just gonna be 2 mths.
maybe 1.

i'm mentally exhausted.
i should stop thinking.
oh dear,
i need weed.
i wanna laugh my ass off.
booze just makes me miserable.

can't wait to be confined.
after that back to books.
hopefully.
or i see a dark future.haiz.

so anyone ask me out.
staying home makes me miserable.
=(

hey. quite a few things happened recently.
i found out things.experience life.
what happen between us was somewhat magical to me.
it's one of the best moments in life
it's sad to see it end but it's been hard enough.
i can say that i was selfish.
i was scared to let you go,
eventhough i know i had you in a dilemma.
i even tried to make it worst,by prolonging the situation.
i even wanted you to even giveup the person you love.
i'm a fucking asshole.
i'm sorry.
well i just hope that you feel better now.
i admit i hate to see you messed up,
so you just pretend that nothing happened.
so let's see that smile,
as for us being friends,
not gonna be easy, but yah it's not that hard either.
should i text you?maybe not.
i shall not make things any harder.
so if you feel like talking just text/call me.
i will always be there,waiting.
so i hope you go to the doc soon.
im sorry that i cant help.
but yah drink more water, chlorophyll water.
just don't turn green.hahaha
sometimes when you feel miserable,
you feel like doing something stupid.
you wished you got bang by a truck and lose your memory.
the weird thing is i'm not miserable.i think.
anw illiyana i'm hoping you will do what you said.
cos i still see a ray of hope.
and another thing about your promise.
i never made you to. it's for your own good.
i can't see if you actually keep your words.
but it be nice to know that like you said for me you'll quit.
it made me feel that i still mean to you.
thanks for everything
you made me a better person.
and if anything happens,
i'd still be here waiting with open arms.
maybe this time with an open heart too.

Today is the first new week of the year.
idk what that means.hahaha
anw everything seems to falling into place.hopefully
i got a job now.
i'm happy cos it's office hours. and its in town. yay!
get to take train and see office chicks.hahahah
idk what to wear sia.maybe just wear jeans and tees
but i feel like wearing short pants.
anw i have a new addition to my house.
it's a bit too late for intro. but here it goes.
her name is Ann Nur Jannah.
she's a dec baby like me.
she's born on the 30th.
she is a tall baby.
can't help it we've got good genes.
being a dec baby is good.
idk uh hw to explain.
your more advance in studies.
if you get what i mean.
if you dont you dumb.cos your not born in dec.hahaha
anw i feel weird doing those cute2 voice to the baby.
i have to learn right,cos one day i might have my own.
but i have to get a girlfriend first.
tonight i have to sleep early, as if
ok now i have to look for highlighters pen and notebook.hahaha
oh yah babygurl pardon my banner i'll change it soon.
and friendster sucks it can load the whole day cb.
let's hope for the best in 2009.

i need to go out.
why.idk

i've been jobless for close 2 mths. all because of NS.cb.
fucking burden uh. i cannot enjoy. im so bored at home.
broke. shit happens to me all the time.
well 2009 started off with a bang!


ytd i did something stupid again.
i know you laugh to somewhat ease the tension.
and i gave you a fuck face.wth was i thinking. idk
i seem to not know everything huh?
what a loser.
but i just hope for the best.
ppl change, i just hope i change for the better.


i think i could ride from bukit gombak to wlds in 30 mins.
ok uh it was quite fun to ride alone.
lucky me it didnt rain.
but scary sia.imagine if got fatimah rocker.
forest on both sides of the deserted road.
maybe i should jog home.1 day.

i suck at guitars seriously.
i started when i played the bass for dgig. hahaha
funny sia. the sally's or 20 misled minds.watever it is.
i started meddling with guitars. yah.
i didn't had much interest in it till recently.
i realised hw much i suck at it.
i've really got ntg else to do this few wks
so i tried learning a few song
but i got no discipline to learn the whole song
so the moral of the story is i suck at guitar.
someone pls teach me. hahaha
im counting down the days till i book in for the first time.
it feels like forever.i had to wait for 1 year.
add 2 yr to 10th march. cb i will be old.
i have to find a way to further my studies.
idk whichever ideal.uh
by that time i cant imagine the amount of responsibilities i have.
hahahaha. no one else to blame.maybe uh.hahaha
stupid cisco why no projects.
if not i dont have to look for a new job.
like for 3 mths only. tell me which idiot wanna employ.
i must think of a resolution alr.
my resolution for the past 3 or 4 yrs still nt done.yet
QUIT SMOKING.HAHAHA.
i have to think of something better cos i know i'll nvr quit.
hopefully i wld though.
SO WHAT"S YOUR RESOLUTION?

omg after all this years
i really don't know you do i.hahaha
well let's take it back to the start.
recently i kept waking up in the middle of my sleep
and random thoughts just fill my mind
and bothers me until i fall back to sleep.haha
NYE still no plans.oh boy i suck.
i've been eating a lot of maggi.
one day i'll grow bald.
i realised that i can nvr make advance plan.
like i made plans with nick and wadi.
instead i met aisha and afiq.hahaha
yah that reminds me.
i have to leave my past behind.
people changed.
i realised that i actually know the truth.
but i was in my on world pretending
everything the way i wanted it to be
running away from the truth.
so yah the world is cold.

life's really being a bitch.
all i wanted was to use the com.
annoying assholes had to lock the door.
i just cant be bothered anymore i will just succumb to them.bitch.
72 days more.
i need this vacation. hahaha

OMG!WHY?!!!
why should i still have faith in you, god.
well whatever it is thanks uh.cb.
i wish someone would kill me now.
so i can 1 0n 1 with him.cb kia.cb.cb
i don't even know where to start, or what to feel.
i don't even know if i should post this.
i don't even know what i'm writing actually
i've got no one to talk to.i don't what to do. not that i could.
all i know that i always make the wrong move.
there's really a lot of thoughts in my head now.
matair jadi airmata. hahaha
i'm sorry. your not to blame.it has always been mine.
2yrs.hahaha.unexpected sia.
hahahaha.laugh at me.i'm the biggest joke.no everything is a joke.
HAHAHAA.
you know what.
what?-_-
i wanna kill someone. i wish i could.actually no one's to blame but me.
i feel like drinking now.i' m sorry it's you who deserve better.
i'm insensitive. i'm selfish.i'm pathetic.i will accept you,as you
i don't despise you.you know what this post is just intended for you.
and i'm gonna meet you later.so ytf i bother.
anw thanks for telling.i really appreciate it.
i hope you know that this time.
i really love you.i really do.
sadly,the flame is getting weaker.
XOXO
.

ARHHH!!
i'm so stressed.
i need a job.
and damn i'm still nt free from bbdc.hahaha
i was so close to the finish line.
well i have to wait.AGAIN.
wait for this wait for that
god is really testing my patience.hahaha
cld it gets any worse,MAYBE?

too much too say.
that there's nothing that should be said.











this blog bores you, doesnt it?

today i should be able to play at least 3 songs.
so i shld be practising now?

CBLAH I FEEL LIKE SHIT!! X~X
stupid virus.
i am so weak right now.
that i dont even feel like walking to my bed and sleep.
i fell worst after every sneeze
damn i must get well by tmr 1 day left to learn like6 songs i think.
Sorry ill!hahaha
arggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
tmr when i wake up.
this stupid flu/fever better be gone.bitch!
if not im going to the doctor to repair me.
who wanna come?
i wanna go jb buy that stussy hoodie.

updated.>.<

price: $4,549
my a/c bal :$400++
oh man i need to quit buying cigarettes.
even contraband cant help no more.hahaha
i still cant find the one key to happiness in my life.
that piece of paper(or plastic?) that is so valuable in this world.
hobbies aside.
tmr i think i go job hunting.haha
mum's alr making noise abt me staying hm.
my life has always been abt money.
i wish cigarettes and food grow on trees.
like you can just pluck a plate of steak of the tree.haha

JOSIE.

Labels: =)

ok the gig last fri was quite fun.
hope there will be a next time.
then on sun night.
i puke in 170 otw to h.v.wtf.
i swear it was embarrassing.
i'm still can't get high.
hope i can get better stuff next time.
so should i just stick to bass or try the guitar?
i suck at both anw.

2 more days to go crazy.
bismillah.hahah

im gonna embarrassed myself this fri.
easy songs but i cant memorise the tabs.
whats happening to me?
my memory seems to be getting worse.
i'm not "hardcore" enough.hahaha
wth fingers cross.
anw it's gonna be a busy year end for me.
so many goals to achieved.
im so psyched yet nervous.
>.<

I FUCKING HATE CHINA.

that's why i hate pimples.

hell yeah monpoly kicks ass.

Halloween/BBQ at Han's







The sch "butch"




the Ladies












too many and too lazy to upload the rest.haha

i'm broke.boo hoo
ytd spent 30 bucks on cab.
thanks smrt for nt operating nr on p.hols.
damn suay. wadi left by 8n.
so i waited for nr like an idiot.
why the fuck is there no "sbs nightowl" to wl?
owl dont like the woods.i think.
and i donated 10 bucks by accident at bk to some community chest.
hahah god forcing me to do good deeds.but at the wrong moment.
hw the hell im gonna survive till 31st.
stress3!
so many things i want.
added something new.
guitar hero world tour.
im gonna rob ppl soon.hahahaha

I wish I was little bit taller,
I wish I was a baller,
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a six four Impala

fuck this feeling

Am i really that shallow?
i think i am.
i feel that ppl see me as a loser.
actually i don't until i had a chat with an old friend.haha
yay tmr 1/2 day.
a7x?changi hospital.pdl
wooots.

the past few wks had been great.
hopefully it remains that way.
im gonna get my 2b soon.
that's on hold cos my pays late.again.
i need a new job.
man i'm so used to my current job that sometimes
i don't feel like im working.
i got a mth to get a new job.
i want a kick ass job with kick ass pay.
i'm enjoying my last few teenage mths.hahaha.
i hope my "twenteen" birthday gonna be some wild party.
with shirtless chicks.hahaha.
ok.i cant hide it maybe im getting.lonely.hahah maybe i can.hahaha
a

another "fun-filled" night.
thanks to another well planned event.
thanks guys.
which is gonna be follow by a super fun day
of sitting at relatives house.
doing ntg but tv and eating.
and waiting for the time to pass by faster.
i really love my life.
thanksss god.
nvm time to impregnate myself with food.
and more food.
let's smoke up.
cheers bitch.

my dear friend
when will you learn?
anw i still don't know what really happened.

today suck.
lost atm card.
late cos of traffic jam.
drenched in rain at bbdc.
4 hrs left to go.pfft
watch this.

Get back in action soon.
hopefully with tom and mark.=)

i don't want to be the mediator.
but i just can't help it.
from now on i won't bother.
i'll try my best not to.
cos i got unsettled problems myself.

ytd was a bitch.
i couldn't even have a sip of the drinks.
cos i still have 10 more days of fasting to go.
but i didn't relly felt left out though.
and i think "lSC" is homo.ahahhah
i know that i'm not allowed to drink at all.
but you know me.if you don't know you do.
at least i respect the fasting mth.
like all those malay assholes.
who eat at the coffeshop or smoke in front of other malay ppl.
if you dont fast thats your fucking problem just respect other ppl.
some even think its cool doing so.wth?

i wanna drive today.
where's the truck?

someone said i'm no fun anymore.
well i agree.
but i'm just trying to be responsible,
whoever said i like responsibility.
or commitment.
i just nvr like to depend on my mom.
well finally had one off day today.
i need a new job.1 job only.
one with good pay. So i can have my Life back.
how i miss skating.
i want a new set-up.
i want d90.
i want my own transportation
i want a les paul.
i want to club.
i want weed.
i want my life back.

4bia was ok
4 parts.
1st part 3stars.nice ending
2nd 2stars nice storyline but cgi sucks and kinda funny.
3rd is the best. 4stars. fucking funny.well not really but i love it.
last is the most scary cos the body was wrapped like a mummy.3stars.
ok enough movie review."mcm fhm".
but the best part was the odour in the cinema.
i'm still wondering if it was bad breath or sweat.
one hell of a concoction.lol
work was great but..
this project ends on the 18th next mth.ftw.
cos they added another indexer in the team.
singapore has more short term jobs.
that's why employment rates are up.
bullshit.as usual.
idfk what's the rush lah.
less days = Less Pay
next cck?well i dont care.
hope i get into the police force.that's all
hari raya's coming soon.
that means a whole mth of fasting.
i love fasting mth.but i seriously hate raya.
seeing all those ass who are related to me.pfft.
ok enough dear diary shit.lol
some random photograhpy to show off.


nt bad right?
well maybe i just like it

ytd was fucking freezing.
been a while since i went to town.
marina actually.
happen to pass by esplanade.
the outdoor stage is complete.
there also almost prepared for the f1.
got the job at changing apettites.
i wont be having a life no more.
work my ass off.
once i have enough cash.
i'll quit either one jobs.
or maybe both if there's any good offers.
anw ytd's talk was kind of inappropriate.
it's usually guys secret talk.wth.
they're just trying to be open-minded.nvm them.
mon back to work.=(
now all i want to do i chill and buy my shoes.

time to let it go.

i miss you,mary jane.
those days that you made me me high.
i nvr had any arguments or watever.
you just make me happy
no drinks could replace you.
you are one kind of a high.=p

Been such an ass to someone lately.
but sometimes you just can't control your desires.
yeah like the iphone or nokia N810.
dope gadgets.
money not enough uh.hahhaah.
knock off extra early today.
hopefully things get more stable.
tight constraints on cash sucks.
but what choice do i have.
i wanna that piece of paper/card watever.
i have to stop throwing money doing stupid mistakes.

pimples be gone bitch!
stupid passport expired.
and a nite of loneliness.
fuck.fuck.fuck

work has been one of slackiest shit i've been doing.
i kinda hate it the more we slack the slower time seems to pass now.
i've been told not to blog abt work.
cos it's "top secret".
the world could end if anything leak out.
i really don't feel the cold hard cash that i've earn.
a few years back this would be more than enough.
but thanks to inflation. gst and shit.
those ppl working at mac i pity them.
there are many other countries that are advance as us if not better,
yet you dont see their people.
normal average joes like you and me struggling to have a life.
yes a life.not just working to survive.
prices are going up yet wages remain the same.
does everyone need diplomas phds and shit?
some of these papers are merely useless.
you can learn the skills on the street,self-study.
well i don't know why i'm blabbering stuffs.
i love singapore but it's driving me crazy.
stressful country really.
nvm is gd anw that this is happening to me
so once i've completed my service to my beloved country.
i'll still have he determination to further my studies.
hopefully the least would be a diploma.
wonder if it would still be of any use.
well that's just life in singapore
the island for foreigners & aliens.
anw gd luck to me tmr.hahaha
i need all the luck i can get.

ssweet.i sprained my leg.
and there's no one to out with today.=(

ytd was a day with nice skies.
the pics kind of sucky.
wadya expect from a camera phone.
gavin had a great fall.
actually all three of us did.
not a bad day though.for gavin's "suay" day.lol
at least u land k/f and h/f down 5.mofo.
which reminds me BUY GLUCOSOMINE.kk
lazy to type alr.

looking for a better job.
and who wants to take nafa test with me?
get 2 mths off ur ns.
ok time to skate.ZZZzz.

payday,PAYDAY.
ouh i can't wait.
should i buy my dslr?
after all i planned to buy it like ard 2 yrs ago.
psp?
that'll be great too.
ahh... iphone.
wait not enough besides it's nt released and it's singtel.grr
save up more or go get license nw
but ns is up soon.can't get license in 2 mths right.
invest in football?
can earn more lol,can lose all
if only my money could perform binary fission.
cos it's never enough.for nowlah.
cos i'm gonna be rich soon.
but i'll definitely get a new deck and more clothes.
i miss you baby.we can finally go out this weekend.<3 ?

GO SKATEBOARDING DAY 08
click to enlarged




skated at skatepark
played catching with cops at istana park
and a phototaking session at cathay.
work tmr.
3 more weeks and im rich.

hello nobody! =)

PAISEY!HAHAHA

it's been a rough week for me.
thanks to some people.
treat people the way you want to be treated?
there's been a lot of worldpeace,championtalker,blabberking.
idk whatever you name em'
person no 1
has a lot of imaginary friends who done everything.
and he "knows" everything.
maybe he's god.lol
person no 2
like wtf i didnt force him to come.
he could have said no.
who the fuck you think you are wanna vent your anger on me?
person no 3.
literally, nothing to say.
cos you've been m.i.a
actually,i hv more to say abt em.
but watever it is fuck this ppl.
i dont wanna talk about em.
i'm happy with what i have,
though i could use a little cash and a job.

After multiple fruitless attempts to post it on your friendster.
I had no other choice but to place it here.
Hope you listen to it.

fading.

i'm still bumming around.
im far worst than broke.
daily routine.
wake up
friends & that 70's show.
bathe, go out
anw when to batok.
met up with mel, qi jian and suan hong.
hong and qian trim their hair.
played scratch it.
i think spend ard $7.
won abt $16 or more but we traded for more cards.
maybe next time we'll win 10k.hahahaha
after that went to mc for dinner.
salt paper creamer and sugar for for the "sauce"
then when mel went to toilet,
we added toppings to his drink for more flavour.
which he didnt want to drink.
so we ended playing 5,10 and poker to finish it
it was the first non-alcoholic drink that make me drunk.
if you want the recipe for the cocktail.
-coke
-sugar
-salt
-pepper
-chilli sauce
-ketchup
-creamer
-lots of ketchup
-fries
-cabbage
add any amt you like
(best serve chill)
ENJOY!

1 yr has pass,
surprisingly i haven't deleted this blog unlike those previous ones.
well let's just have a glance back.
it all kinda of started because of this girl.
and now i'm blissfully in a relationship with her.
there was the i wanna a bike craze.
now is a i wanna car craze.
but i havent even bothered to do anything.
from cashless to can say quite stable to cashless again.lol
weirs supervisors.
even my friends have change some for the better and some for the worst.
you yourself know it.
i tried my best as a friend to advised.
it's you life. watever
currently waiting for ns.
i'm so excited.Cheong SUA!
haven't got a single cent from mom since the last paper of o's.
except for "the birthday gift".
still searching for a stable job.
can't wait to move out.
well i guess this is growing up.
ANYWAYYY,GD LUCK O"LEVELERS.LOL

something's bothering me so much i cant slp.
Idk wth it is.
I'm so fking tired.
Yet im still wide awake on my bed.
The weathers nt helping either.
These chillout ambient songs nt helping.
I need meds.
I miss mary j.
I want to stay happy.
1/3 of my life's gone maybe more.
Lets make the best out of it.
Im nt gonna be no average joe.
Too tired to write/think somemore.
Nites!

Shafi'i,
I made a list of what you should do.
quit smoking.(like that's gonna happen)
quit drinking.(really?)
exercise more.(move that ass!)
ZERO pimples.(clean that oily face.)
fairer skin(i know.lol)
monday find job.(seriously)
and try to limit urself to 2-4 episodes of friends and that 70' show.
or 1 movie.